Wish you were here?

Do what you love? Love what you do? What do you love? You do what love?

One question above is the tagline of the Meetup.com website, and two are not, but which is which? The same words rearranged, even in nonsensical random order (as one question is), can have profoundly different meaning to an audience.

Written communication is normally read with a negative bias unless the reader has a positive relationship with the writer. Even more so if the writer does not have their tone of voice to transmit emotion, which may explain why the focus of many advertisers and marketers has shifted to include short, watchable length videos.

I came across this TED talk on the Power of Introverts on the official TED website under the “25 most popular” (talks of all time). I envisaged Publisher Ocean Reeve as a young man being sent off to camp with a bag packed similar to Susan Cain’s. I can see it still being the same contents in their bags today, but it is an example how lovers of books can still be wonderful public speakers.

It got me thinking, is social media really getting acceptance of other people opinions or has it just become “white noise”, the carrier wave that people only seem to notice when the broadcast is NOT there.

In my experience, Introverts, just like ALL types of neurodiversity, do not need to be cured, but do need to be accepted. There is a time and place for both introverts and extroverts.

Introverts need to withdraw to “recharge”

Yes, it may be the case that extroverts suck the life out of introverts at networking events, but don’t resent them for it; that’s just how extroverts are. Introverts need to know their limits too. Both need to identify the cues.

If you want others to accept you for who you are, you have to accept them. Including accepting that others have a different opinion, even though you don’t agree with them; but don’t hate them for it. Hate requires extra effort. You could actually care less about someone if you try, but you are not proving anything to anyone if you do it. Think of yourself, but think of it as a misallocation of your resources; don’t you have better things to do with your time? How often do you think I hear people say “I don’t have time!”.

In business, Introverts Vs Extroverts is a dyadic relationship that if traits are forced upon the others it is unsustainable, and can cause collateral damage to others in an organization.

Excited early adopters can often get caught up in the hype

…and not think about the consequences of change made to suit the early adopter’s needs and may disregard the invertor’s intention.

Other times inventors mistrust others so much they don’t collaborate for fear of losing out, and try to defuse innovation straight the early majority all by themselves. It’s too big a task for any one person.

You will often see people with “Superhero syndrome” say how hard they are working, how many hours they do, how busy they are, but to everyone else, they are saying I don’t have time for you (and your needs). Superhero’s ideas rarely get traction, are often duplicated anyway, and even Superheroes burn out.

It’s not a question of authenticity

Actors act differently to their normal personality (see Befa Sheds), but it is not sustainable and they can’t keep it up for long as it is not who they really are. Actors are referred to as “warm props” by set designers because they have style but no substance. But you don’t have to be that way.

Method Actors, on the other hand, understand the situation, find out what would motivate them in that situation, then the method actor makes a decision on how they would act when in that situation. It is still an authentic version of the person, the method actors just chose to change their action, not who they are. Their values still show through. Style, with substance, AKA “class”.

You have a choice to do whatever you want to do, but you don’t have a choice to be you. You can’t be anyone else; that position has already been filled.

A dream is just a plan without a timeframe,

Who says you have to be the one to set the timeframes for your dreams. You can outsource that too! Some people just have better planning skills than you.

Saying “no one does what I do” is like saying the Earth has the only life in the universe. How would we know if there were others? What is more likely; that we would find them, or they would find us?

Just be you, so people that know what they are looking for can find you. The people that you want to work with will want to work with you.

Do you do what you love? Or love what you do?

What word would make sense of the nonsensical random question in the title?….YOU.


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